


Carry you

by alpha_al



Category: Homeland
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love, Missing Scene, Pre-Epilogue, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:22:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24321238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alpha_al/pseuds/alpha_al
Summary: “What’s now, what is your next plan?”A question that once would have been easy for him to answer now sticks in his throat, robbing him of breath. He rubs the back of his neck, feeling a little exposed under her attention.“Well Carrie, my next plan is to...carry you.”
Relationships: Carrie Mathison/Yevgeny Gromov
Comments: 6
Kudos: 173





	Carry you

**Author's Note:**

> * Carrie's first days in Moscow.  
> * Yevgeny has his own house but it is not that penthouse.  
> * This story is inspired by Ruelle's song "Carry you" and particularly by this C/Y video  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67iUSei6vc0  
> * I'm not a writer, I just want to share my version of what happened after Carrie went to Moscow.  
> * English is not my first language, I apologize for any grammar mistake.

Yevgeny is leaning into the car and waits for the truck to arrive. It is 6 am in the morning and he is waiting at the Georgia-Russia border checkpoint. It has been a week since he left Carrie in Ramallah, telling her that she will be fine and he will manage her arrival.

A border guard makes him sign and he walks in his direction. He noticed the truck coming. He had paid off a few border guards to not make control on that truck where Carrie should be hiding in. He waits until the truck passes the border control and goes closer to talk to the driver. He asks him if everything is fine and tells him to drive 20 km and wait at a petrol station nearby.

The driver starts the vehicle and the truck moves on. Yevgeny goes to thank the border guard and he drives to the petrol station where he will pick up Carrie. For a few minutes he arrives and parks his car in front of the petrol station. He sights the truck and Carrie is waiting for him. He stops the vehicle and gets out of the car.

“Hey!”

“Hey!” she mumbles back.

He puts the hands in her shoulder and puts her closer to give her a quick hug.

"How are you?”

“Tired. I have three hours hiding in the truck and I haven't slept enough this week. Can we take a break? I need a coffee and to use the bathroom.”

"Sure."

They enter the bar. He ordered two coffee and picked a table while she headed to the bathroom. She goes in and while washing her hand she looks up in the mirror and looks at the dark circles of sleepless nights. She looks tired. She takes off her shirt and puts on a hoodie.

Yevgeny is drinking his coffee while she comes back. She sits in front of him and takes a deep breath.

“Everything ok?” he says.

“Yes.” she replies, which is only half the truth.

They remain silent for a moment.

“Where are we going?” she asks.

“We have to go to Vladikavkaz airport and take a flight to Moscow” he says quietly. 

“Is that safe, getting me on a plane?” she asks worried.

“It is a private jet” he answers, tilting his head, “We will be in Moscow in the midday, can we go now?”

She nods and they get up from the table. They drive to the airport.

***

There’s a small plane parked at the edge of the airfield in Vladikavkaz, and he ushers her onto it in silence. He won’t elaborate on the details though he doesn’t have to. The plane has some wide seats, a corner bed and a small kitchen. She takes a seat and he sits in front of her.

The jet lifts off, her eyes find the window and watch as the expanse of sky becomes brighter and bluer. 

He unseats the belt and goes away. In a few minutes he comes back and puts on the table two sandwiches and some fruit.

“Eat something!” he says quietly.

“I am not hungry!” she replies a little harshly without looking at him.

He puts his elbows on the table in front of him and gives her a questioningly stare.

“What, are you still mad at me?!” he asks.

She gives him a look back and raises one eyebrow at him.There is a long, quiet pause between them as Carrie and Yevgeny stare at each other.

“I am tired and I don't want to discuss it right now.”

He admits she has a hard time.

“Okaaay, but you still should eat something.” he gets up and leaves her alone.

***

They land in a private airspace in Moscow. Yevgeny finds his car left for them a few yards away.

“Welcome to Moscow” he says as she opens the door and while he slides into the driver’s seat. He brings to his mind her first time landing in Moscow, him watching her on the monitor and Mirov calling her ‘Your useful idiot’. ‘She is not an idiot’ he replied and now they are here together as she has become his asset. 

Yevgeny navigates the car through the winding streets and start-stops of traffic, until they’re well into downtown.

“Last stop,” he says quietly as he exits the driver’s seat, and she stares up at the building before slowly climbing the front stairs.

They enter the apartment, Carrie looks around as she follows him in, dropping her bag on the floor. 

“Make yourself at home” he says. “I'll show you your room.” 

He walks on the hallway and opens a room door. She follows him.

“I don't know if it is a good idea to stay here...” she says. “Maybe I can stay in a hotel room. I don't want to give you any trouble.”

“What the hell can you do in a hotel room all day? And it is not safe for you to get around alone, until you get a residence permit.

She looks at him for a minute, undecidedly. Maybe he is right, she thinks.

“You can't or you don't want to?” he asks her unexpectedly.

“I can't.” Carrie says.

“I am telling you, you can and I want you to stay. Look Carrie, you don't have to go through this alone.” he puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes it.

She nods.

“Take some rest” he says.

“First I will take a shower” she says.

“Okay, i will bring you some towels.”

She gets some clothes and goes to the bathroom. It is warm there and she immediately takes off her hoodie. She hears a knock on the door.

“Carrie?” he asks.

She opens the door and he sees her in her sports bra. He hands her the towels and he allows himself a glance or two over her body. She can note as he swallows down a rock. 

“Thanks!”

“ I...I have to go to work.” he breaths. “I will be back in the evening. You can use the food in the fridge if you want. See you later.”

***

It is 8 pm, Yevgeny comes home. He turns on the lights and moves quietly across the hallway, towards the closed door of her room. He knocks on the door and waits. It is quiet. He expects it to be locked but when he places his hands on the knob it opens easily, and he’s not sure if that means she trusts him more than he thinks or if she just carelessly forgot to close it. The slight bits of hallway light dots the form of Carrie’s frame.

He wants to go closer and give her a goodnight kiss on her forehead, but he thinks this can wake her up, so he doesn’t. 

***

Carrie opens her eyes and she can’t recognize that unfamiliar location. It takes another ten seconds for her brain to snap into awareness as she bolts upwards, her hands clenching into fists, two legs swinging forward so she can move into a defensive stance. She feels a bad headache and realizes she slept for more than twelve hours.

It is 6 am. She gets up slowly and starts to look in her bag for any pain relievers pills but she can't find anything. Then she steps out of her room and notes that Yevgeny’s room door is open a fraction. She gets close and first she knocks lightly and then opens it wide. She sees him on a sleeveless undershirt while sleeping. Carrie takes a step into the room.

“Yevgeny” her voice sounds a little worried. 

He pushes himself up on his elbows, blinking sleep and confusion from his eyes, focusing on her form.

“Are you okay?!” 

“I have a bad headache. Do you have any pills?”

Carrie watches as he slides out his bed shifting the sheets, puts his sport pants on and gets up lazily. She follows him as he steps out of his room, goes over to the hallway and starts shuffling through the drawers of the cabinet.

She takes a look around and her eyes find a picture frame. In it, two teenage boys were smiling as they leaned an arm over each other's shoulders. She immediately recognizes one of them as Yevgeny.

"Do you have a brother?" she asks, surprised. He turns to look at her.

“I did.” he says quietly. He hands her the pills.

“Mm, I am sorry.” 

He gives her a look and nods. They step silently into the kitchen.

She fills a glass of water and takes the pill.

“Are you going to sleep again?” he asks, sleepy, his hair still messy from just being woken up.

“No, I don’t think so.” she answers.

“Ok then, do you want some coffee?” he asks her, leaning on his kitchen counter.

“Sure!” she replies and takes a seat on the table.

After a few minutes he put two coffee mugs on the table and sits next to her. 

“How did you sleep last night? I didn't find you awake when I came” he stares at her while she is leaning her cheek against the back of her hand.

“Well, I slept a lot.” she pauses “Look, I am sorry for yesterday, I wasn’t in a good mood. I have been scared, tired, I slept one hour at most per night. As you see, I took all my pain relievers pills that I have. But I would not be here without your help.” she admits.

They remain silent for a while but he keeps his intense gaze on her.

“I know we should have a conversation together.” he says after he takes a deep breath. “Tonight, we can go outside to drink something. I know a nice bar.” he winks.

***

Carrie and Yevgeny walk into the bar and pick a table in the corner that’s sufficiently encased in the shadows. They take a seat directly facing each other.

“What do you want to drink?” Yevgeny asks her.

“Same as yours” Carrie replies.

“Really? I will take vodka. Are you sure you can handle it?”

“What, are you scared that I am going mad?” she grins at him.

He laughs and it's such a good sound, looks really amazing on him. He orders the vodka right away.

“Cheers, for the new beginning!” he says and holds up his drink, waiting for her to pick up her own.

“Cheers” she replies and then she clinks them together.

They warm up by the first vodka shot.

“It is good!” she admits as the drink goes to her head and through her body.

They order the second shots and go on drinking. 

“So tell me, how was your day?” he asks, smiling at her.

“Well, it started pretty early, waking you up at 6 am” she answers and he nods. “It didn't start very well but it became much better.” she nods.

“Did you shuffle my things, like a spy you are?” he asks her playfully.

She laughs “No, I didn't. I couldn’t allow myself something like that.

She watches him while his index finger circles the rim of his glass. She feels a shiver running through her body when she thinks how his long fingers would be inside of her.

“Cheers!” he says. She looks at him and chuckles.

“What are you thinking of?” he asks, and she hesitates before speaking.

“I can’t believe a few weeks ago I wanted to strap you to a chair. But now I am drinking with you in this bar here in Moscow.”

Yevgeny shakes his head, scoffing, “You hated me,” and he doesn't look at all bothered by that. “But I think you remember more than you said.” he challenges. “You really do not remember, anything between us?”

“Is it important anymore?” Carrie looks a little nervous.

He watches her for a while and replies “It is for me.” He can see the muscles in her cheek twitching slightly while she stares at him.

“Oh, I have some questions for you, too.” She tries to change the conversation.

“Okay, I am here, but you have to answer it first.”

“Well, I don't remember much, just some fragments, but I didn’t recognize it was you until I saw you in Kabul.” 

“What exactly?”

She bites her lower lip and replies “When you left me back in the alysum, squeezing and begging you to not leave me there.”

He nods and takes a deep breath.

“Ok, my turn now.” she continues, takes another gulp and lets the drink warm her throat.

“For how much time did you care for me in the hospital?” she asks sarcastically.

He crosses his arms before his chest and answers thoughtfully “Three months, more or less”.

“And then you left me back in that shitty place!” her voice shaking. 

“Carrie, I am sorry, okay, I told you. It was out of my control.” he returns, his voice sad, and everything about the moment suddenly feels raw and open and honest.

They stay in silence for a while.

“I want to ask you something too,…about the kiss” Yevgeny says.

“What about that?”

“Did you kiss me to convince me to take you to Islamabad?” he watches her with an intensity that makes her swallow.

“Yes, I did.”

“Only for that?” he asks, tilting his head to catch her eyes.

Carrie bites her lip around a smile, feels herself curving towards him over the table. “Let's say, it was 50/50.” 

Yevgeny smirks.

“Speaking of that, was it our first kiss?” her voice wondering.

“Are you kidding? Of course it was!” Yevgeny says immediately, holding his breath.

“I don’t know, you tell me. I don’t remember.” Carrie shrugs with a little smirk.

“But it may not be the last... if I kiss you again...” he leans a bit towards her over the table, holding her gaze.

“Nah, I am still mad at you” she reasons, smirking. She leans back on her chair.

“Why? I told you, I did what I had to do.“

“I need time to accept it..., and a cigarette.” she says, “And I am not done with the questions!”

He gives her a look like ‘I am bored’ and says “So?”

“Since you didn’t respond the first time, did you come to Kabul because of me?”

“This is classified.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit!”

“Our GRU team had some unfinished business...in Kabul.”

“Including me!”

“Including you!“

“So, our meeting was planned for all of it.”

“I told you, I am a planner.” he smirks.

“What’s now, what is your next plan?”

A question that once would have been easy for him to answer now sticks in his throat, robbing him of breath. He rubs the back of his neck, feeling a little exposed under her attention.

“Well Carrie, my next plan is to...carry you.” 

She takes a deep breath and swallows, looking into Yevgeny’s eyes. He stays silent, watching her through still, bright eyes. Then he gets up and walks towards the counter and comes back after a minute.

“You wanted a cigarette?” he says to her, standing on foot and holding a cigarette package in one hand. She breaks her thoughts and nods.

“We have to smoke outside.” he says and grabs his jacket. 

They stand outside the bar on the corner, he pops open the cigarette package and offers her a cigarette. Then he pulls out a lighter from his pocket and Carrie leans towards the flame. When she is satisfied she leans against the brick wall, blowing out a puff of smoke and breathing in the cool night air.

“Thanks.” She says finally. Yevgeny nods and goes to stand next to her and takes out a cigarette of his own and lights it. For a few minutes they both stand in silence leaning on the wall as they watch the smoke curl and mix with their breath, both disappearing into the chilly night air. She can feel the warmth of his body next to her.

“I need you to be sure that this is what you want.” he breaks the silence. 

Carrie sighs. “Well, I don't have many choices, you know. If I go back they will want to put me in jail.” she admits.

“Yeah.”

"It’s not that simple.” she replies sadly, a modicum of regret behind her tone.

He looks at her a little sadly, his eyes moving across her body, and shakes his head. 

“I know how it is.” he murmurs, blowing out a puff of smoke.

“You don’t know anything.” she replies.

“I lost my little brother when he was sixteen, sixteen! I felt like the world crashed on my head and I couldn’t do anything. You have to deal with it, even if it hurts.” he rolls his eyes and pops open the cigarette package, pulling out another and lighting it. She can’t say anything but stare.

“Once you told me that you left Franny's custody to your sister and you weren't sure if it was the right thing. Well, it hurts, but at the end of the day you know she is safe and she has a quiet life, which you think you couldn’t give her.” he watches her with an intensity that almost throws her off balance.

She remains speechless and pensively, maybe he is right.

“Let’s get out of here” he says and pushes himself from the wall, after enough silence passes.

***

They are waiting for the elevator to lift up. Yevgeny pushes the button twice as if he can be impatient. In a minute they are inside the elevator. She looks up into his eyes.

He isn’t sure but he thinks she is holding her breath but maybe that is because he is holding his breath and he can’t imagine either of them breathing - not at this moment. The tension in the elevator is palpable. All he can think about is pulling her close and kissing her. Meanwhile Carrie moves just a bit closer. He looks down on the floor and then back into her eyes and then down to her lips and he knows. Tilting his head and moving his hands to her neck, he pulls her in to kiss her. Carrie responds by leaning into him.

They break apart at the sound of the elevator beep. She leans back so she can see his eyes. His desire is obvious, his love visible. The door opens and they exit the elevator in silence.

Yevgeny reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out the apartment keys. He is opening the door when he feels her arms wrapped around his waist. He faces her and they start to kiss again. 

They are stumbling through the door, giggling and still trying to keep their kiss going. Yevgeny’s arm is wrapped around Carrie’s waist, holding her close even as he kicks the door shut. A wave of desire comes over him, so strong it leaves him breathless. He tightens his grasp, holding her against him with desperation that she may disappear. He needs her, and he wants her. They need each other.

She pushes him back against the door, trailing kisses down his neck. Carrie bursts out laughing when the door groans beneath their combined weight and they move away from there.

They slip off their shoes and start to undress each other. They take off their jackets and she starts to undo the buttons on his dress shirt. Yevgeny slides his hands under her shirt and moves them up, pulling her shirt with them until it gets off over her head. He lets one of his hands trail down her back. 

“Let’s go to bed” he sighs in her ear. He picks her up, she wraps her legs around his waist and he carries her towards his bedroom. She can feel his erection between her thighs.

Tonight they drank some vodka shots, but they aren’t heavily drunk. Drunk enough for Carrie to forgive the past and jump into him and drunk enough for Yevgeny to open to her. 

Now they are facing each other, standing in front of the bed. He leans in to kiss her deep and urgent, his fingers running through her hair as she fumbles with his belt, removing it, then lowering his pants to the floor. He helps her to remove her pants too and she lays down on the bed.

He crawls on top of her and starts kissing her again, one of his hands roams her body while the other keeps him from crushing her under his weight. She wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her.

”You're so wet…” he breathes as placing a finger on the wet patch of her panties, rubbing gently. Teasing her even more. He moves his finger to her clit and rubs in a small circle, earning moans from her. He chuckles before pulling off her soaked panties. He runs his index finger along the wetness, which makes her shiver.

He moves his hands on her chest for a moment, just enough to get rid of her bra. He trails kisses down her throat and to her breast. Her hands travel all over his back and she feels her entire being craving his touch, wanting to feel him as close to her as possible. She can’t wait a second longer, she needs to feel him, she needs him to be inside of her. 

“Come in” she begs him. He pulls off his boxes and he positions himself up along her entrance.

They're finally naked, none of them can wait any longer, their eyes fixed on each other as he enters and they both groan, hurt and relief and the pleasure knocks them over.

He fits like a piece of a puzzle that has been missing without her even noticing that she’s needed it to feel complete. He thrusts and Carrie starts to scream right away, it's utterly hot and almost unbearable, not breaking eye contact. He moves faster, losing control, pushing into her and seconds later they both explode. He kisses her as the waves of orgasm are rushing through their bodies. They stay connected, foreheads touching, until they're able to breathe and think again.

“Ya lyublyu vas” Yevgeny whispers ‘I love you’ in russian, while kissing her forehead. She doesn't understand at first but she guesses. 

***

She spends her days remembering what she can piece together about her time in captivity, and he spends his days telling stories that he’s never told, the 180 days that she’s missed out on becoming their own story, the words filling a part of her that before had been so empty. 

They spend their nights talking with their bodies rather than using words, and each time they come inside of each other they feel themself become a little more human.

It is healing. It is understanding. It is love. It is what Carrie realizes when his fingers curl around her palm, a wordless promise for another nightmare tampered, another fear assuaged, another worry dispelled.

They don’t talk about what they know is the truth, that he may have rescued her from running away or jail and that she may have rescued him from guilt. They both know that it will be a long time before she can walk down the street or drive a car without looking over her shoulder, without wondering if the world will crumble at her feet without warning. 

But there’s a light at the end of the tunnel that’s brighter than it’s ever been, and a hope that is rekindling itself in their bodies, and they are pushing forward like they always have, one foot in front of the other, together and apart and then together again.

They are pushing forward together, because rebuilding a life is something that is easier when you're not alone.


End file.
